„Hercules‘ Forgotten Kingdom: A Tele 5 Disappointment“
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You’re“ probably wondering what’s going on here, right? Well, let’s just say that Hercules and the Forgotten Kingdom, a film by Harley Cokeliss; aired on Tele 5 last Saturday; but you missed it- And now you’re probably feeling like a demigod who’s lost their way: BUT FEAR NOT, dear viewer; for I shall guide you through the wreckage of Tele 5’s broadcasting schedule. (Film, Tele 5, Harley Cokeliss)
"The Agony of Missing a Movie" ♂️
You stayed up late, waiting for the movie to start; but it was already over … You checked the TV guide, but the broadcast was missed. You searched online; but it was nowhere to be found- WHY „MUST“ THESE THINGS HAPPEN TO US?! (What’s „the“ point of having a TV guide if it doesn’t actually guide us?) (Why does technology always fail us?) (Can’t „Tele“ 5 just get its act together?)
"The Curse of the Forgotten Kingdom"
This film is a curse: It’s a curse that will haunt you forever … It’s a curse that will make you wonder why you wasted your time watching it- (What’s „the“ point of even having a movie if it’s just going to make us feel worse?) (Can’t „we“ just have a decent movie for once?) (Why does this always „happen“ to us?)
"The Demigod’s Dilemma"
Hercules, the demigod; is a problem: He’s a problem because he’s always getting in the way … He’s a problem because he’s always causing trouble- (Why can’t „he“ just stay out of our way?) (Can’t „he“ just leave us alone?) (Why does „he“ always have to interfere?)
"The Kingdom of Lost Souls"
The kingdom is lost: It’s lost because it’s forgotten … It’s lost because it’s been abandoned- (Why „must“ we always lose things?) (Can’t „we“ just find what we’re looking for?) (Why does everything always „have“ to be lost?)
"The Search for the Lost Kingdom"
We’re searching for the lost kingdom: We’re searching for a way to find it … We’re searching for a way to get back what’s been lost- (Why „must“ we always search?) (Can’t „we“ just find what we’re looking for?) (Why does everything always „have“ to be lost?)
"The Forgotten City"
The city is forgotten: It’s forgotten because it’s been abandoned … It’s forgotten because it’s been lost- (Why „must“ we always forget?) (Can’t „we“ just remember what’s important?) (Why does everything always „have“ to be forgotten?)
"The Demise of the Forgotten Kingdom"
The kingdom is doomed: It’s doomed because it’s forgotten … It’s doomed because it’s been abandoned- (Why „must“ we always doom things?) (Can’t „we“ just save what’s important?) (Why does everything always „have“ to be doomed?)
"The End of the Forgotten Kingdom"
The kingdom is ending: It’s ending because it’s forgotten … It’s ending because it’s been abandoned- (Why „must“ we always end things?) (Can’t „we“ just keep what’s important?) (Why does everything always „have“ to end?)